one week, and counting

okay, so i still don’t feel happy about leaving. i do feel like leaving; i’m just not happy about it just yet. whatever though. i guess i should leave. i’m depression is setting in and i’m begining to hurt people that i love. not that it matters to them that i am all hurt up inside. i just want peace now, and some quiet.

to all those who have expressed a wish to see me before i go; i’m sorry that i am being such an ass. to those that don’t really care what happens to me: FUCK YOU. to the rest who are in the middle — don’t worry about it, soon it will not matter.

below i am posting an old poem of mine. i don’t’ know what i was thinking about then, but it seems to capture my feelings very well today:

scared

crying

cringing

ready to meet my one true fate

to see it all to its end

everywhere alone

alone and ready to go

seeping

crawling

crying

alone and ready to die

death at my door

i can see it

but i run

run from what

from self

scared to live

scared to die

ready to see it to its end

7-9-03

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