monkish behavior

i don’t get it. do people not really know me by now. i guess not. . . . some might know this — if you have met me and had a sit-down with me face-to-face you know that i am a poet. if you have talked to me long enough you might know an even deeper secret. . . . that i want to be a monk. when i was a christian i wanted to be a priest but i couldn’t be a catholic priest. there is way too much racism in the church heirarchy for that.

but i have wanted to be a priest for so long. people see me, a black hispanic and don’t get it. priest are people too. they just feel the urge to higher calling. some do it because it’s easier to be a priest then too be a real man. they don’t get it eighter. being a priest is about being a real man/woman and being able to trancend this life. to become a beacon — a light — unto the world.

no, i don’t think that it will ever be shiek to become a monk and relly that life is extremely hard but it seems that god is pulling me there. i even already have a plan for getting married and still becoming a monk later on in life. loving me will be damn hard i think. but, love is not easy. love is about all the hard things. in fact love is easy, staying in love is hard. how does god do it? how indeed after all these billions of human years and still finding time to help us out? damn god is one over-loving being.


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