finally i spoke to my mother. it had been about a month of email back and forth but yesturday i got way tired of that shit. i waited up till 0100 in the morning and called her. i had to fix my telephone it was all screwed up but i fixed it and got the call through. two hours of talking and i almost fucking cried. BUT I AM A MAN, god damn it. we figured out a lot of shit about why i am still here in Germany even though i don’t want to be and she reminded me that i have already accomplished everything that i came here for. so i am okay to go home and finish my things there. now if only i could teleport my ass on home.